No Rules To Parenting To Be Stronger Forgive Yourself4 min read
Often we think that we have time. We tell ourselves that we’ll get to it later, or we push things so far deep that when it’s time to pull them up to the surface, it’s much harder to do so. There are no rules to parenting, to be stronger forgive yourself.
I spoke about my initial lack of processing this enormous transition of my son entering college and how that left me emotionally flustered. Because my emotions were so far deep that by the time I pulled them out, I could not contain the flood gates. I had to catch my flight to Los Angeles in a few hours, and I was having a nervous breakdown.
No Rules To Parenting To Be Stronger Forgive Yourself
As a parent and the time comes for your child to become their person and leave the nest, you can’t help to wonder how much of it did you get right.
I started to think: I didn’t spend enough time with my son before I left. Everything that I planned didn’t go right. I deeply felt that I screwed everything up.
Ikea still didn’t give me the parts that I needed. However, they stepped up to the plate and offered free delivery with free installation. I spent much of that time worrying excessively instead of allowing the ease of the transition to take place.
Provided that, the present is all that mattered, the past is in the past, and the future isn’t here. I had to accept all that is. What’s done is done. I cried hard that day while simultaneously expelling all of the judgments that held a grip on me.
Acceptance allowed me to breathe and focus on spending whatever time that was left because there are no rules to parenting, to be stronger forgive yourself.
While in Orlando, my son and I worked out at Title Boxing. He liked it so much that he became a member. Next, we sat by the pool and talked for such a long time. At this point, we talked about life, choices, and responsibility.
Finances became a huge topic as well as maintaining a clean home. He listened attentively then asked lots of questions. It’s beautiful when you’ve reached a time in your relationship with your child that you can sit down and talk.
Despite all of the mishaps, and things going awry my son had the happiest and biggest smile on his face. He loved his new home. The cabinets were full. I left him with cash and hugged him so tightly that I think his spleen broke.
We are here now witnessing this transition together. I’m not sure how we got here. However, there are no rules to parenting, to be stronger forgive yourself. Let what happened in the past stay there. Learn from it, yes, but don’t allow it to consume you.
I cried because in the end, my heart filled with gratitude and joy. I’m a mom to one of the most incredible people on this Earth.
I thanked my ex-girlfriend for helping me with the transition. She reassured me that my son would be okay.
Lastly, if you’re looking for a rule book on parenting, there isn’t one, and if you go looking for it, you’ll find a lot of conflicting information.
As parents we are very hard on ourselves, often, we didn’t get the parenting we needed and even if we did, it’s still the most difficult job in the world. We will never be perfect parents because we are human and perfectly flawed.
What we can offer our children is space to grow, our time, compassion, unconditional love, and the truth. You’ll find that your kids are the most forgiving people in the world. However, don’t abuse that privilege, your children are also human.
I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. You’re okay, and your children will be okay. Love them and remain present. There are no rules to parenting, to be stronger learn to forgive yourself.
What are some lessons that you have learned from motherhood? Share and comment below!
Lessons I’ve learned:
- Don’t beat yourself up. Reflect, make changes where you see fit, but forgive yourself, and move forward.
- Love your children for who they are and give them space to develop into who they decide to become.
- Spend lots of time with your children.
- Have fun and play with your adult children as much as you did when they were little.